The other day I paused to realized what the term “mixed feelings” is all about; that it is possible to hold two or more feelings at the same time, and it’s not uncommon not to be able to identify what they are. In the Phycology Today article by David Selzer. PhD, 6 Reasons Why You May Not Know What You’re Feeling explains, “It might seem almost unfathomable that someone might not recognize what they’re feeling. But the phenomenon is much more common than most people realize.”
The idea of feelings of fear together with the mix of feelings that goes along with grief and the grieving process came to mind and so I pulled a few points of reference to begin my journey to understand the intersection of fear and grief. In my search the concept of Anticipatory Grief stood out to me. Adam Bulger addresses it well in his article written, April 2, 2020, That COVID-19 Feeling? It’s Called ‘Anticipatory Grief – We’re collectively feeling a loss that hasn’t yet occurred, on a global scale.
Andy Mort also speaks to this topic in his podcast episode: Cope With Anticipatory Grief in Everyday Life as a Highly Sensitive Person– Anticipatory Grief is the feeling of loss for something or someone that is still there. It’s a phenomenon most often experienced in anticipation of the impending death of a loved one. However, it can be experienced in all sorts of ways and about all manner of things.
Dr. Jud Brewer addresses grief in general and anticipatory grief in particular:
I was privileged to co-author two books with the legendary, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, as well as adapt her well-respected stages of dying for those in grief. As expected, the stages would present themselves differently in grief. In our book, On Grief and Grieving we present the adapted stages in the much needed area of grief. The stages have evolved since their introduction and have been very misunderstood over the past four decades. They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss as there is no typical loss. – Excerpt from his website: Grief.com – Help For Because Love Never Dies
Amidst the current COVID-19 pandemic below are a few short videos on Grief and Fear.
The 3 WAYS To Keep Coronavirus ANXIETY From Going VIRAL
On Grief and Grieving – David Kessler
8 Lessons From Brené Brown On Healing Through Grief
How to identify the stages of grief in COVID-19 messages
Article and Post by: Clay Boykin
Clay’s Podcast series: In Search of the New Compassionate Male